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|Average Joe just wont cut it …. ….until you come back down to earth.
25 June 2010
|The reality is: Average Joe just won’t cut it… unless you’re going to come down to earth.
I read an article many years ago published in the Cape Argus. “When Mr Right is just not good enough. Jenni Murray says we should stop looking for Mr Right and start looking for Mr Goodenough.”
When I read this, I thought, "I’m not lowering my standards. Why would you want to?" Well, the point is, that you don’t in fact need to lower your standards and accept Mr Goodenough, you simply need to be realistic and then Mr Right will absolutely be good enough.
Forgive me if you’ve heard this story from me before. I asked a friend after a date, “was he good looking?” She said, “well he’s no Brad Pitt, but then I’m no Angelina Jolie.”
There is only one Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie out there. So why do we insist on the search for the “dark, tall, and handsome”? The guy`s version: “petite and good looking”.
“Yeah right” I say when I see a lady has written: Looking for tall dark and handsome on her internet profile. Join the queue! It’s my job to try and meet these criteria for members, so I think about all of the men I have in my social circle for a start …. Tall dark and handsome = ONE …. .. .. ….. and there is a queue!
So what do you do when you’re not petite or good looking or tall or dark or handsome? Admitting this is not low self esteem, it’s a reality check. We don’t all make runway models. You are always going to be good looking to someone, and the person you end up with will love you for the looks you have, and most of all, for who you are as a person.
It’s the first visual look that attracts someone I hear you scream at me….. yes… and you? How good looking are you?
I believe that filtering people out based on looks, when you’re quite obviously eliminating people faster than they open their mouths, is just you putting a barrier put up. Perhaps your logic is that they’re not good looking enough to approach or to spend time with, so you save yourself the possibility of rejection.
Average Joe just wont cut it …. …. …. until you come back down to earth.
Share your thoughts on "Finding Your Average Joe" and add your comment.
|1 I want to throw another spanner in the works here: have you ever been intimidated to approach someone at a social event just because you thought they were TOO handsome or good-looking? Just because someone is too handsome or good-looking doesn`t mean that they are a supermodel in real life - deep down they may also be an average joe / jane also wanting to meet or get to know someone else, and more often than not cannot help that they are handsome or good-looking. So when I go to my next social event, I will walk up to that good-looking person and start a conversation with them, and for all I know it may turn out to develop into something more meaningful!
Added By: Marc - 25 June 2010
|2 Great article. I never quite saw it from that point of view! Something to keep in mind.
Good comment Marc, very true!
Added By: DanielaÂ Wusch - 25 June 2010
|3 I have a friend with surname Goodenough! He would laugh at the name connection, however...
I also have a girlfiend who has a delightful photos of 6 female skeletons sitting at a kitchen table with cobwebs all over them. The caption says "Waiting for Mr Right!"
In my understanding of the world (ha!) we are usually attracted to others whose facial features "match" ours ie color, eyes, height, build etc. So what`s so odd about that?
Added By: Al - 28 June 2010
|4 Yes, in the 18 months or so that I have been "single" I have learnt, there is no such theing as Mr/Mrs/Miss Right. If they are, their first name is usually Allways!
I read somewhere something similar where the author stated it as "Different shades of wrong", the trick is to find the shade you can live/work with.
Added By: Rich Bryson - 16 September 2010